The Holidays Are Coming and I Am Not Ready: Coping with Holiday Stress

It is not yet Halloween, but there are some clear signs that the holidays are coming.  My mailbox is stuffed with catalogs.  My child has been going through each of these catalogs and cutting out photos of things that she would like to own.  There is a holiday lights display at Target, right next to the Halloween costumes. Turkey roasters are also being prominently displayed.

There are two winter holidays that my family celebrates, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  When I was younger each of these winter holidays seemed to be distinct, but not anymore.  For years now, people start their frenzied shopping for winter gift giving holidays in November.  And now I have started even earlier.  Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away, and I am sad to admit that I have already started Christmas shopping.  I found myself buying Christmas ornaments when I went to Pottery Barn Kids last weekend.  Yes, in the middle of October.  Each year we purchase these ornaments which are basically small framed photos of my child.   What makes this really  funny is that I live in Florida, and on the day that I bought the Christmas ornaments, it was about 80 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside.

I am not sure how it is for all of you out there who celebrate these multiple winter holidays, but the experience for me is pretty exhausting.  There is a lot to do, and it wears me out.  In normal non-holiday times, I am usually just getting by in my ability to keep a handle on my house, child, and job.  The winter holidays can require traveling, cooking, gift buying, gift wrapping, and typically attending a ton of parties and events.  Adding all of these activities to an already packed schedule is stressful.

The stress did not bother me too much until after my child was born which has also coincided with changes in my career.  As a childless person, I was able to leave work at night and go buy gifts for people in the evenings.  I also had most weekends available for shopping.  I could take the time to thoughtfully select the perfect gift for those on my list.  I usually ate Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts at a relative’s house, relieving me of most cooking and cleaning duties.  Also, I was more often than not somebody’s employee instead of somebody’s boss.  I had plenty of time to shop for lovely outfits to wear to festive and fancy holiday parties.  The holiday season was a festive and fun time.

Now it is a lot harder.  I do not cook very well, so the task of preparing a large enjoyable meal for a group of people in a clean and decorated house  is daunting.  If I am not in charge of the meal, it usually means I am traveling somewhere with my child in tow.  So there is the stress of preparing, packing, and entertaining a child on a trip.   I also buy and wrap a whole lot more gifts for my child and more colleagues and employees.  All of these tasks are added to my full time work schedule.

There are a few things that I do which make the winter holidays less stressful, although some of these suggestions can make it more expensive.  If you are hoping to reduce stress during the holiday season, try one of them and see if it works for you.

Holiday Stress Management Strategies

 

1. Start Preparing Early.  As you have already heard, it is October, and I have already started buying gifts.  These are not the only gifts I have purchased though.  Since my child is young and does not have much understanding of the latest fashions, I also purchase clothes to give to her as gifts all year long.  Usually when we find ourselves at the mall,  I will make a quick break for one of my favorite kids’ clothing stores while she is distracted with Daddy in the Disney Store.  I will quickly shop for sale items and purchase them in the size I anticipate she will be when that season comes around.  I do this all year long and often amass a lot of stuff by the end of the year and by her birthday.  While the other tips might not be money saving, this one actually reduces holiday costs because I can take advantage of sales all year long.  It also spreads out the expenses of gift buying so that I do not have a massive credit card bill in January.

2. Shop Online.  I am not the person who you find sleeping outside in a tent in front of a discount store in the middle of the night on Thanksgiving in order to be the first person in the store to get the great doorbuster deals.  In fact, I am not a fan of crowds, and I love to sleep in!  So, I try to shop online a lot, unless I have to see something in order to select it.  I find shopping online is really great for gifts that you have to send to people out of town because the last place you want to find yourself during the holiday season is in a line at the post office or mailing store.  I have been there and done that and do not suggest it.

3. Enlist the Assistance of Others.  This is the time of year that I ask for assistance from others.  It is alright to ask you family or significant other to help with cooking, packing, or gift wrapping.  If you are unable to get assistance from family, you can also pay others to assist you.  A one time home cleaning before your guests arrive for Thanksgiving can be well worth the money when compared to the stress of staying up all night to prepare your home and cook.  You could also hire less expensive labor, like neighborhood adolescents and teenagers, to help with other tasks like your outdoor decorations or gift wrapping.

4. Simplify the Holiday Preparations.  There are a lot of things that you can do to simplify the holidays.  If you feel guilty, try to remember that you are doing this to improve the quality of your life.  These ideas can be as simple as reducing the number of side dishes that you fix for holiday meals or using gift bags to wrap your gifts.  If you have a lot of holiday decorations, save time by only putting out part of them.   Use no-iron table cloths and napkins for your holiday meals.

5. Lower Your Expectations. For those of you who have high standards for your holiday experiences, it is alright to lower them a little.  There seems to be an expectation that our holiday meals, gifts, and overall experiences have to be perfect, but this is far from true.  We are all only human, and there are only 24 hours in a day.  Do your best to prepare but don’t let the holidays overwhelm you.

5. Reduce Your Other Responsibilities.  Take some time away from your usual responsibilities (employment, parenting, caregiving for other family members, etc.)  by taking some time off or enlisting a babysitter/substitute caregiver, etc.  It is easier to do holiday shopping and preparations without having to worry about work or without having to drag a small child around the store.

6.  Say No Sometimes.  There seem to be so many holiday events, sales, and parties.  It is not possible to attend all of them. It is acceptable to decline an invitation to a party if you do it in a respectful way.  Also, you do not have to go to every sale or every community event.  Try to schedule some “down time” where you are not preparing for the holidays, but instead doing something that you enjoy, like watching a movie.

7.  Take Time To Enjoy The Holidays.  Whether it is eating with family, opening gifts with friends, or celebrating a great year with colleagues, try to enjoy whatever you are doing in the moment it is happening. Try not to think about all the things you have left to do.

What strategies have you used to manage stress during winter holidays?

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