Tips for Dealing with Exam Stress

Have you ever experienced stress from exams?  I certainly have.  During the many years I spent in school, I had to take a lot of exams and write a lot of papers.  As a freshman in college, I had to write five papers during finals week in my first semester.   I have also taken some really difficult exams.  Some were difficult because I had to memorize and apply so much information.  Others were take-home exams that were not difficult, but very time consuming.  There were times that I had two or three exams scheduled on one day.

Also, in my role as a teacher, I have seen many students struggling to deal with exam stress.  I remember observing this vividly when I taught a class where most students were college freshman.  Each semester started out well.  The students seemed rested and healthy.  But by the end of the semester, there was a big change.  Many students were exhausted and sick.  They started to wear their pajamas to class.  Many were experiencing exam stress.

Research conducted by Dr. Laila Al-Ayadhi in 2005 sheds some light on how exam stress can lead to biological changes in our bodies.  The study was conducted in medical students who provided blood samples at two time points.  One blood test was done at the beginning of the academic year.  The other blood test was done with the same students on the day of their final exams.  The results were not surprising.  From the beginning of the academic year to the day of the final exam, students’ blood tests showed an increase in most neurohormones that indicated a stress response.  In other words, the students’ bodies were responding to the stress that they were experiencing by activating hormones.

If you find that you are very stressed during exam week, there are several ways that you can prevent exam stress throughout the semester as well as during exam week.

Don’t Fall Behind in Class

One of the most important things to do to reduce your level of stress during exam week is to keep up with your work before exams.  This means reading the material, going to class, and asking questions when you do not understand something.  It is much easier to get information from a professor earlier in the semester than the night before the exam.  Also, it is much easier to review eight chapters of a book you have already read than to read all 250 pages a few days before the exam.  If you keep up with the work while the class progresses, you will have a deeper understanding of the material before you start to study for your exam.

Get Help if You Need It

Some students experience stress because they do not understand the material very well before the exam.  Sometimes this is due to absences from class, but other times it is due to shyness in asking questions or getting help from someone else.  If you are worried because you do not understand the material in class, be sure to seek out help way before the exam, either from the professor, from a tutor, or from a classmate who understands the material.

Start Studying Early

Instead of cramming all of your studying into one night, start reviewing the materials for the exam a few weeks early.  Also, try to reduce the time that you spend in other activities so that you can free up time for studying.  If you can review the materials each day of a week for three hours, you will have better mastery of it than if you try to learn it all in one night.

Take Care of Yourself

Many students try to stay up late studying and wind up taking the exam with only a couple hours of sleep.  For many people, lack of sleep can impair your ability to think.  Be sure to get enough sleep before your exams and try to do other things to take care of yourself, like eating healthy foods and exercising.

Try A Stress Management Technique

When people are under stress, they often neglect to do the things that typically help them manage stress, like exercising.  Make the time to go to your yoga class, take a walk, or just take breaks to stretch while you are studying.  These activities can give your brain a break, making it easier for you to concentrate at a later time.

How have you managed exam stress?

Mothers Support Each Other

I have to say that other mothers really help me cope with stress.  A few weeks ago, I posted about how our family was having a summer camp child care crisis.  Thanks to another mom, we learned over a weekend that our school was not planning to have full day summer camp this year.  I was really grateful that she let us all know because it was a detail that might have slipped by me in the school newsletter. Sometimes I miss important details when I am busy.

However, her help did not stop there.  We shared emails and voicemails over the course of the weekend and then met up on Monday morning to solve the summer camp crisis for our children.  First, we drove to the city camp to enroll our children, only to find out that they were too young.  Next, we brainstormed together about other potential choices.  Each of us shared what we knew about this camp and that camp.  It was through this shared knowledge and process of elimination that we came up with a solution, the YMCA camp in our local area.  As the week continued, we both enrolled our children in the YMCA camp.  They will probably be very happy to see each other over the summer.

This small summer camp crisis was one example of all the good advice that I have received from other mothers.  Some of these mothers have older children, while others have children my child’s age.  Talking to other mothers has helped me cope with really stressful parenting experiences.  Sometimes it is nice to know that others have struggled with difficult situations that I have experienced, like a sick child or work-life balance.  It is also nice to get perspective on your parenting choices.  I have found other mothers (and sometimes other fathers as well) have knowledge of so many resources and are often willing to share them.

In many stressful situations, the support of other people can help you cope.  In my case, I have found other mothers are a rich source of support. I am grateful to have so many who have been kind enough to support me.

Who best helps you?

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If you enjoyed this post, please check out:

Stress in the City: Life in the Most Stressful US City

To Dance or Not To Dance? Are We Overscheduling?

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Help Your Child Show Appreciation

My child and I just finished writing 25 thank you notes for gifts she received at her birthday party.  My child is in preschool, so her contribution consisted of signing her name.  However, I was impressed by the fact that she wanted each card read to her before she signed it.   Although writing thank you notes is not my favorite task, I find that it is important to do to teach my child to be grateful for all the wonderful friends she has and the lovely gifts that she received.

As I mentioned in a previous post, research has found that people who have a life orientation towards gratitude have several things in common.  Typically, they appreciate others, focus on what they have, do things that show gratitude, and focus on the present moment.  Research also suggests that having a life orientation towards gratitude is related to good mental health.  Those who are grateful have less depression and anxiety and are less likely to abuse substances or have an eating disorder.  On the positive side, people who are grateful have better quality relationships and are more satisfied with their lives.

Even though the research on the beneficial effects of gratitude is in its infancy, it suggests that there are several benefits to living a life of gratitude.  Good mental health and good relationships are something that I hope my child will have throughout her life.  Therefore, I have taken some steps to teach my child how to be grateful.  Keep in mind that my child is in preschool.  Therefore, some of the tips that I provide may not be as relevant for children in other stages of development.

Five Tips for Teaching Children about Gratitude

1. Be Grateful Yourself.  One of the strongest ways to encourage your child to be grateful is to show gratitude yourself.  It is unlikely that your child will appreciate other people if you consistently do not.  If you constantly focus on things that you do not have, it is likely that your child will do the same.  One especially important way to teach your child about gratitude is to show and tell your child that you are grateful for him or her.  This can be accomplished in a lot of ways, like verbally (for example saying: “I am so glad that you are my daughter”). You can also demonstrate it through actions, like spending special time with your child and reflecting on it together: “I am so glad that we could go to the movies together today.”

2. Reflect on What You Have As a Family.  There are always opportunities to reflect on the good things that you have as a family. Some families may reflect on things for which they are grateful on a daily basis, say at dinner time, or during family gatherings.  In my case, I try to use specific “teaching moments” to help my child reflect on what we have.  For instance, if she observes or hears about a situation where someone experiences a loss or hardship, I try to help her reflect on how lucky we are to have what we have.

3. Expose Your Child to People Who Have Less.  One of the most powerful ways of teaching gratitude is to let your child have firsthand experience with people who have less then they do.  This can be accomplished by volunteer work, travel, or through social events with people from all walks of life.   When children are only exposed to others who have more than they do, they often focus on what they want.  Giving a child a more balanced perspective can make them realize that many of their needs are met.

4. Help Your Child Show Appreciation. Your child probably has special people in his or her life.  This person might be a coach, a friend, a teacher, a cousin, an aunt, a neighbor, or any one of many people who touches his or her life.  Regardless of who the person is, it is great to help your child show appreciation for that person.  Work with your child to figure out a time, place, and way to show appreciation.  For instance, you might want to show appreciation to a great coach at the end of a season of a sport.  Let your child pick a reasonable way to appreciate his or her coach and help him or her follow through with it.  This does not have to be expensive–it could be a photograph of the team with a note on it or a small gift card.

5. Have Your Child Be Involved in Charitable Giving.  One way that I have helped my child be grateful is through involving her in regular charitable giving.  For instance, we regularly donate household items to charitable organizations.  Around Christmas, we give toys to children who are in need.  This often leads to a discussion of where the items go and gives me the chance to tell my child how our family helps other people.  If your family provides monetary donations to a charitable organization, allow your child to have some part of it, like contributing a small amount from his or her allowance or placing your family’s contribution in a collection jar.  This will allow your child to feel good about doing something for someone else.  And it may help your child feel grateful.

 So, what about you? If you have children, what have you done to teach your child or children to be grateful?  What did your parents do to teach you about gratitude?

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The United States is Not the Happiest Country in the World

Do you live in the happiest country in the world?  Recently I read the World Happiness Report  (Edited by John Helliwell, Richard Layard and Jeffrey Sachs), which quantifies the levels of happiness in many countries around the world through data from Gallup World Polls from 2005 to 2011.  Despite the economic advantages that many people in the United States enjoy as compared to others in the world, we are not the happiest country in the world.  In fact, we are not even in the top 10.  The United States is number 11 in happiness, behind Denmark, Finland, Norway, the Netherlands, Canada, Switzerland, Sweden, New Zealand, Australia, and Ireland.  Even more interesting is that our level of happiness has remained about the same for decades.

The authors of the report provide some suggestions for why Americans are not the happiest people in the world, including:

• anxieties and uncertainty;
• social and economic inequality;
• a lack of social trust (trust of other people);
• declining confidence in our government;
• the craving of some for higher incomes; and
• our persistent desire for new material wants (the latest smartphone, the latest fashions).

To some extent there is truth to each of these ideas, but I think that there are other aspects which may make Americans unhappy as compared to people living in some other countries.  Some reasons would fall under “social and economic inequality,” but others seem deeply rooted in our value system and the way that we lead our lives.

Other Reasons for Unhappiness of Americans

1.  Many people lack affordable housing.  In poorer countries, many people have no housing at all and lack things like running water and heat.  Here in the United States, most people can access shelter, but many spend a lot of their paycheck paying for it with little left over to spend on other things.  This makes us feel unhappy.

2.  Many people lack access to health care.  In poorer countries, people die from diseases that you never hear about in the United States, like malaria.  In the United States, we tend to get chronic diseases, like diabetes and heart disease.  Regardless, in both poor countries and in the United States, there are some people who cannot see a doctor for sickness or injury because it is not affordable.  And so they often stay sick or spend all of their savings to get well, making them unhappy.

3. We work ourselves hard.  We work a lot in the United States.  We have multiple jobs.  We work when we are sick, late at night, after we have just had a baby, and even when we are supposed to be taking vacation.  As a result, we do not get enough sleep, and there is less time to enjoy the things for which we are working so hard.  This makes many of us tired and unhappy.

4.  We don’t take good care of ourselves.  We tend to make choices that are hard on our bodies and do not pay attention to the ways that we can prevent diseases allowing us to live a long life.  There is a long list of things that we could do to take better care of ourselves, including exercising more, eating better, sleeping better, stress management techniques, and getting preventive care.  As Americans, we are not particularly good at taking care of ourselves.

So what do you think?  Why has happiness not increased in the United States over many years?  Why are we 11th in happiness globally?

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Finding Adequate Child Care Can Be Stressful

A child care crisis has set in at our house.  Although we thought everything had been arranged for the summer, this weekend our family learned that our child’s school will not be offering their annual preschool camp.  With two working parents who both have demanding jobs, our family relies on the high quality care and education that my child receives at her school.  We are so grateful to have found such a great school for our child.  She loves to go there every day, and she has grown so much academically, socially, and emotionally.  As parents, we have grown attached to the other children who attend the school, their parents, the teachers, and the administration.  We could not ask for a better school, and it gives us as parents a feeling of security to drop her off each day at a place that is safe and secure and that she adores.

We know that we are lucky to have found such a great place for our child because we have experienced two other child care situations that did not meet our expectations.  In many ways, both of these child care centers only attempted to meet the minimum requirements as required by state law.  Both child care centers were for-profit institutions and were designed with a business model of packing as many children as allowed by state law into a classroom of as few teachers as possible.

The first child care center that my child attended provided loving care when my child was very young, but the environment was not kept clean enough.  My child was sick about every three weeks and often she would share her germs with her parents.  At the end of the first year, she became seriously ill and was out of school for three weeks.  She then transitioned to a very large class with children who ranged in age from 14 to 24 months.  Her new teachers who were not particularly nurturing.  She hated it.  We hated it.

So we switched to another child care center with a smaller class of children, at least for a little while.  The problem with this one was the fact that the owners were more interested in high profits than caring for children.  This child care center did not appear to pay adequate salaries to the teachers, which resulted in a high turnover rate and people who were unqualified or unsuited to care for young children. Our child attended this center for about eighteen months and had about 25 teachers in that time.  Some would literally be there for a matter of days.

We found that there were a lot more options in our area when a child turned 3 then earlier in her life.  We did some research and were able to find the school she attends now.  Although she has come to love it, starting her new school was a tough transition for her.

Having to go through not one but two inadequate child care situations was extremely difficult on our family and on us as new parents.  The amount of sickness that we all experienced in the first year of our child’s live was overwhelming.  It made it difficult to plan anything and difficult to accomplish much at work due to the need for us to take time off frequently.  Similarly, we felt uneasy with the second child care center because we were concerned about who was watching our child.  While some of the teachers were wonderful, others seemed to know little about child care or early child education.

So we are sad that our child won’t be attending summer camp at her beloved school this year, but understand the reasons.  The school just does not have the staff available to run the camp.

Now, we are in a child care crisis and scrambling to find a safe, decent, and affordable preschool day camp for our child in Tampa.   There are few options here for summer preschool camps that last all day long so that parents can work, making it stressful for the parents and the child alike.  It is difficult to evaluate whether a camp will be a safe or good environment for our child until she starts attending it.  Also, we do not know how she will react to a new situation.  All of these unknowns are stressful to us as working parents.  Hopefully, everything will work out.

Have you ever experienced a child care crisis?  How did you and your family cope with it?

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If you enjoyed this post, please check out:

Stress in the City: Life in the Most Stressful US City

Expressing Gratitude: Why Being Thankful is Good For You

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Disney World Can Be Stressful

I just returned from a trip with my child to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.  Since we live about 90 minutes away, it was relatively easy for us to travel to Disney, but the three day “vacation” was also exhausting for all of us.   Each day we spent between six and twelve hours in a Disney park.  We all returned home much more tired than when we left.  On the one hand, Disney World is an exciting and fun place for the families that flock there from all over the world.  But there are also things that can be very stressful and frustrating, including the cost, weather, crowds, and long lines.  During my three day trip to Disney World, I discovered several tips for managing stress.  Hopefully these tips can help you plan your Disney experience.

Choose the Right Day to Visit Disney World

One thing I discovered about visiting Disney World was the differences in the crowds on weekdays and weekends.  We visited the park on a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in March.  There were a lot of people at the parks on Thursday and Friday, but by Saturday the crowd was overwhelming.  When the crowds were large, it was difficult to walk through the park with a small child, and the lines for attractions and rides were long.  If crowds are stressful for you, select a weekday to visit Disney World.  Also, some weekdays are busier than others  If you want to avoid crowds, you should also avoid weekdays that are holidays or near holidays.  Also avoid weeks that are typical holiday breaks for children, like common spring break times.

Prepare for Your Disney World Visit

Since this was my child’s and my own first trip to Disney World, I was not sure about what to expect.  I was surprised to find that Disney World was pretty reasonable in their policies in ways that help families manage stress. I noticed that unlike a lot of other venues, Disney World lets you bring into the park a lot of things to make you and your family more comfortable.  So you can bring strollers, food, drinks, sunscreen, baby care items, raincoats, and things to entertain your child while he or she is waiting in line.  Preparing to go to Disney is very critical.  Since we did not realize this on our first day, we probably spent a lot more money than we needed to do so.  By the last day, our child’s stroller was filled with nearly everything we would need for eight hours, like water and snacks.  So, if you are going to Disney, be sure to pack a bag that has everything that you will need for eight to twelve hours.  And remember to check the weather forecast to see whether you will need to prepare for extremely hot weather (i.e., bring sunscreen, hats, bottled water) or for rain (i.e., bring poncho or raincoat, stroller covers).

Avoid Long Lines

Another thing that I learned about during my trip to Disney World was the FASTPASS® system.  This is one of the most important ways to manage stress because you can avoid long lines.  The FASTPASS® system allows you to avoid the long lines in popular rides and attractions by making a “reservation” using your Disney ticket.  There are only some rides and attractions that allow you to do the FASTPASS® (for a list by park, click here), but it is well worth it.  You can only have one FASTPASS® at a time, so you have to do some planning.  The best way to do this is to figure out which attractions you want to see or do before you get to the park.  Once you get there, pick one and go get a  FASTPASS® as soon as you arrive.  A machine will give you the FASTPASS®  ticket with a time that you should return.  You will then have some time to wait before you can see the attraction or ride the ride, but you can spend that time doing other things in the park, like riding a ride with a shorter line or seeing a show.  Once you get back to the FASTPASS® attraction at your scheduled time, you will be allowed to bypass the entire line of people waiting in the regular line  so you can go straight to the front.

Manage Stress While Waiting in Lines

Unfortunately, if you want to see most of the attractions or ride most of the rides, you are going to have to wait in line at some point  (not all of them have the FASTPASS® option).  You will need to think about how you are going to keep yourself and your child amused while you wait in the line.  We often talked to people around us in the line.  My child played simple games with the children next to her.  We also did some “low tech” games like “rock, paper, scissors.”  This is also a good time for a snack.  We did not have to resort to providing her with games on the Ipad, but there were several families who used technology on their smart phones or tablets to keep their kids occupied.

Go to the Gift Shop at the End of the Visit

If you are planning a trip to the gift shop, I would suggest doing it at the end of the visit.  We passed a lot of children clutching large toys and a lot of children begging to get large toys.  Disney makes it difficult for parents to avoid the gift shops because many of the rides exit through a gift shop.  There are several reason to buy gifts at the end.  First, you reduce the possibility that your child (or you) will lose or break their toy during a long day at Disney.  Second, you don’t have to carry a large item all day long. Before you get to the park, talk to your child or children about your gift shop plans to set expectations for when shopping will happen.

Have Realistic Expectations

You might be stressed if your expectations for the Disney World Experience are too high.  For example, we quickly found out that our child was not a fan of the Animal Kingdom park.  On the day that we went to the Animal Kingdom, I was excited to see the unique animals, but she really did not care for them and was really grouchy.  She definitely preferred the Magic Kingdom, and her mood improved the next day.  Also, while the park was pretty clean, you are most likely going to be sticky, sweaty, and dirty at the end of the day.   People will be running into you with strollers and wheelchairs.  Children will also bump into you.  You will be walking around a lot and your feet will hurt (especially if you don’t wear good shoes).  On top of that, you will encounter a lot of screaming children.  In fact, your overstimulated, overexcited child may have a meltdown or two before the day is over.  If your expect that these things will not happen, you might find that you feel stressed when they do.  So try to be flexible during your day at Disney World and expect that things will not be perfect.  But enjoy the times that are a lot of fun.

For those of you who have visited Disney World, what are your tips for managing stress?

Yoga is Good for Weight Loss

Lots of people wonder whether yoga is good for weight loss.  In fact, when I recently started my beginner’s yoga class, that was one of the first questions asked by one of my classmates.  From my experience, the one hour of yoga that I do each week has not led to much weight loss.  I am now close to the end of my second beginner’s class and am still at just about the same weight as when I started.  However, I have noticed that in my second beginner’s class that I am a bit stronger, more balanced, and a bit more flexible than I was when I started yoga classes.

Overall, research generally indicates that people who do yoga lose weight or weigh less.  Another recent study conducted by Dr. Moliver and colleagues which was published in the International Journal of Yoga supports these findings.  This study surveyed women over the age of 45 who regularly practiced Hatha yoga and then also surveyed women who did not practice yoga but were similar to the yoga practitioners in terms of age, ethnicity, country of residence, and education.

It turns out that the women who practiced yoga had a much lower body mass index (a measure of body fat) when compared to women who did not practice yoga.  However, women that regularly practiced yoga also did more non-yoga exercise than those who did not regularly practice yoga.  The study also sheds light on the link between the quantity of time practicing yoga and a person’s weight.  Those who had practiced yoga more frequently during a week and during their life also had lower body mass index.

Although the study had some interesting findings, it does have some limitations.  The biggest limitation was the way that the participants were sampled.  Since the survey was done on the internet, everyone had to have internet access.  Also, most of the participants were well educated.  In other words, the people in the study may be different than people who are not well educated or who do not use the internet.

Despite these limitations, it appears that women who practice yoga have lower body weight.  Also, practicing yoga more often may be good for weight loss.

What I have learned from this study is that I may need to increase the amount of time that I spend practicing yoga each week if I want to see significant weight loss.

What about you?  Has yoga helped you lose weight?

Ways to Get Better Sleep

All of you sleepy people out there know that today is the first day after the time changed for daylight savings.  I always dread this week as it takes me a while to adjust to the time change.  Today I have felt pretty sluggish, especially in the afternoon.  But in general, I have been sleeping a lot better during the last few months.

In January, I set two stress management goals for 2012.  One of these goals was to get more sleep and the second one was to get organized.  I have been working on them little by little over the past three months.

I have to admit that I have almost always had trouble sleeping. For most of my life, I have been one of those on the go busy people.  Raised in the south, I drink too much iced tea and too much Diet Coke.  My professional life is very busy.  I work a lot of hours doing things that take a lot of thought. Sometimes I work later than I should.  I have been doing this now for many years and, I often have trouble winding down and falling asleep.  Also, I sometimes do not sleep very deeply at night and wake up exhausted.

The sleeplessness had become a vicious cycle for me.  I would not sleep well or enough and would then wake up exhausted.  In my exhausted state, I would need a lot of caffeine to keep me awake during the day, but would not be at my best, which made me less efficient at work and at home.  Last fall and winter were difficult for me.  I worked on many grants in the fall and then caught pneumonia before Thanksgiving. It took a while to recover.  It also made me think about the way that I was living my life.

When I set my stress management goal of getting more sleep, I tried to think about the things that were affecting my sleep.  I have tried a lot of things in the past to get better sleep including:

• sleeping in a comfortable bed
• sleeping in a dark room
• white noise
• removing clocks from the room

Unfortunately, all of these things combined had not really helped.  So I set out to make some changes.

Limiting Caffeine

First, I stopped drinking caffeinated drinks almost entirely for 10 days when I went to India.  At the time avoiding the caffeine helped me adjust to the jet lag.  But then I realized that I was sleeping so much better without it.  Now, that I am back in the United States, I am not drinking caffeinated drinks after lunch.  The negative part of reducing caffeine is that I have to fight the urge to lay down under my desk and take a nap at 3:00 pm.  But, I have been drinking a lot of water to make up for it, which makes me feel less dehydrated.

Limiting Late Night Work

Although I cannot completely avoid it, I have been trying not to work late at night.  One thing that this has meant is that I have cut down a bit on blogging activities.  But, the interesting thing is that it does not really seem to matter.  My blog and website are still growing, even though the pace is slower than full time bloggers.

Regular Yoga (and Other Exercise)

Another thing that has helped reduce my sleep problems is my regular beginner’s yoga class.  I started yoga in November and then enrolled in another class after returning from India.  I find that I am quite relaxed Tuesday evenings after yoga and try to hold on to that relaxed feeling through the night.  Since the weather is warm here in Florida, I have resumed all of my heavy gardening activities, especially on weekends.  Over the last month, I have spent several hours each weekend raking leaves, moving tree branch debris, pulling up weeds, and planting new plants.  Over the next month, our family will resume the heavy work of laying sod to finish our never-ending lawn project.  While many people do not ever want to do this kind of heavy labor, I find that it is calming to me.  It is also such good exercise that I sleep very well.

Reducing caffeine, limiting work at night, and doing yoga and other exercise regularly are the things that I have changed to get better sleep.  So far, doing each of these things has been very effective for me.  I am sleeping better than ever.

What do you do to get better sleep?